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Prepping Tips For Planet X or Other Cataclysmic Events Plus A Little ‘Donald’ On the Side -Doomsday Dave

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DavidHines Photo

By Staff Writer Doomsday Dave
BendedReality.com

It seems that although Donald Trump is popular in the United States he is not very popular with the British Parliament, see video below.

NOTE: YOU MAY HAVE TO WAIT 20 SECONDS FOR AN AD FROM THE VIDEO SOURCE TO PLAY BEFORE THE VIDEO STARTS
PLEASE NOTE THE AD IS NOT FROM BENDEDREALITY.COM BUT INSTEAD FROM THE VIDEOS SOURCE (Yahoo News)

So now that you have watched these so called leaders in Britain spout off and judge a man they have never met, well let me tell you about these pompous British MPs. They took Britain a great industrial country and totally destroyed it to the point they are on the verge of becoming a third world country. Britain allowed in way to many people to the point they are bursting at the seems with over 60,000,000 people cramped into an island that measures about 800miles long and the widest point is about 300 miles which equates to approximately the size of Alabama and Great Britain is poorer than every state except for Mississippi.

However there are some very rich bankers in Britain and control a lot of the worlds money and members of the Illuminati. Not one of the so call leaders in Britain have stated they are going to make Britain great again like Trump has said about the US. The problem with Britain’s leaders is that they are a bunch of bleeding hearts.

I just heard that the price of gas could go a low as $10 per barrel which is unheard of and I am wondering if this is the beginning of the predicted market crash.

Because of the pending doom I have secured an array of weaponry to protect my family.

My wife is not really keen on using these weapons so I looked for an alternative. While I was searching I came across this account of a guy who decided to buy his wife a taser as protection for her, well the story is self-explanatory happy reading.

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary
submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser.

The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety…??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home… I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same
time, I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Taser in another.

The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control;
and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long,
less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy bitsy AAA
batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best.

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, ‘Don’t do it stupid,’ reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and…

I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!

A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching..

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my
bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I’m still looking for my testicles, but I believe they have permanently retreated to a secure nest somewhere in my abdomen.

PS: My wife can’t stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!


Getting Prepared for Planet X – Things you will need to survive


1. Generators

2. Water Filters/Purifiers

3. Portable Toilets

4. Seasoned Firewood. Wood takes about 6 – 12 months to become dried, for home uses.

5. Lamp Oil, Wicks, Lamps (First Choice: Buy CLEAR oil. If scarce, stockpile ANY!)

6. Coleman Fuel. Impossible to stockpile too much.

7. Guns, Ammunition, Pepper Spray, Knives.

8. Hand-­‐can openers, & hand egg beaters, whisks.

9. Honey/Syrups/white, brown sugar

10. Rice – Beans – Wheat

11. Vegetable Oil (for cooking)

12. Charcoal, Lighter Fluid (Will become scarce suddenly)

13. Water Containers Any size. HARD CLEAR PLASTIC ONLY – food grade if for drinking water.

16. Propane Cylinders (Urgent: Definite shortages will occur.)

17. Survival Guide Book.

18. Mantles: Aladdin, Coleman, etc. (Without this item, longer-­‐term lighting is difficult.)

19. Baby Supplies: Diapers/formula. ointments/aspirin, etc.

20. Washboards, Mop Bucket w/wringer (for Laundry)

21. Cook stoves (Propane, Coleman & Kerosene)

22. Vitamins (needed to supplement poor diet conditions)

23. Propane Cylinder Handle-­‐Holder (Urgent: Small canister use is dangerous without this item)

24. Feminine Hygiene/Hair care/Skin products.

25. Thermal underwear (Tops & Bottoms)

26. Bow saws, axes and hatchets, Wedges (also, honing oil)

27. Aluminum Foil Reg. & Heavy Duty (Great Cooking and Barter Item)

28. Gasoline Containers (Plastic is best)

29. Garbage Bags (Impossible To Have Too Many).

30. Toilet Paper, Kleenex, Paper Towels

31. Milk – Powdered & Condensed (Shake Liquid every 3 to 4 months)

32. Garden Seeds (Non-­‐Hybrid) (A MUST)

33. Clothes pins/line/hangers (A MUST)

34. Coleman’s Pump Repair Kit

35. Tuna Fish (in oil)

36. Fire Extinguishers (or..large box of Baking Soda in every room)

37. First aid kits

38. Batteries (all sizes…buy furthest-­‐out for Expiration Dates)

39. Garlic, spices & vinegar, baking supplies

40. Big Dogs (and plenty of dog food)

41. Flour, yeast & salt

42. Matches. {“Strike Anywhere” preferred.) Boxed, wooden matches will go first

43. Writing paper/pads/pencils, solar calculators

44. Insulated ice chests (good for keeping items from freezing in Wintertime.)

45. Workboots, belts, Levis & durable shirts

46. Flashlights/LIGHTSTICKS & torches, “No. 76 Dietz” Lanterns

47. Journals, Diaries & Scrapbooks (jot down ideas, feelings, experience; Historic Times)

48. Garbage cans Plastic (great for storage, water, transporting – if with wheels)

49. Men’s Hygiene: Shampoo, Toothbrush/paste, Mouthwash/floss, nail clippers, etc

50. Cast iron cookware (sturdy, efficient)

51. Fishing supplies/tools

52. Mosquito coils/repellent, sprays/creams

53. Duct Tape

54. Tarps/stakes/twine/nails/rope/spikes

55. Candles

56. Laundry Detergent (liquid)

57. Backpacks, Duffel Bags

58. Garden tools & supplies

59. Scissors, fabrics & sewing supplies

60. Canned Fruits, Veggies, Soups, stews, etc.

61. Bleach (plain, NOT scented: 4 to 6% sodium hypochlorite)

62. Canning supplies, (Jars/lids/wax)

63. Knives & Sharpening tools: files, stones, steel

64. Bicycles…Tires/tubes/pumps/chains, etc

65. Sleeping Bags & blankets/pillows/mats

66. Carbon Monoxide Alarm (battery powered)

67. Board Games, Cards, Dice

68. d-­‐con Rat poison, MOUSE PRUFE II, Roach Killer

69. Mousetraps, Ant traps & cockroach magnets

70. Paper plates/cups/utensils (stock up, folks)

71. Baby wipes, oils, waterless & Antibacterial soap (saves a lot of water)

72. Rain gear, rubberized boots, etc.

73. Shaving supplies (razors & creams, talc, after shave)

74. Hand pumps & siphons (for water and for fuels)

75. Soysauce, vinegar, bullions/gravy/soupbase

76. Reading glasses

77. Chocolate/Cocoa/Tang/Punch (water enhancers)

78. “Survival-­‐in-­‐a-­‐Can”

79. Woolen clothing, scarves/ear-­‐muffs/mittens

80. Boy Scout Handbook, / also Leaders Catalog

81. Roll-­‐on Window Insulation Kit (MANCO)

82. Graham crackers, saltines, pretzels, Trail mix/Jerky

83. Popcorn, Peanut Butter, Nuts

84. Socks, Underwear, T-­‐shirts, etc. (extras)

85. Lumber (all types)

86. Wagons & carts (for transport to and from)

87. Cots & Inflatable mattress’s

88. Gloves: Work/warming/gardening, etc.

89. Lantern Hangers

90. Screen Patches, glue, nails, screws, nuts & bolts

91. Teas

92. Coffee

93. Wine/Liquors (for bribes, medicinal, etc,)

94. Bees Wax (unlike paraffin this is non-­‐toxic and clean-­‐burning when burned indoors)

95. Glue, nails, nuts, bolts, screws, etc.

96. Chewing gum/candies

97. Atomizers (for cooling/bathing)

98. Hats & cotton neckerchiefs

99. Livestock

Stay safe

DDD signing off

Keep your eyes in the skies

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The views expressed in this article are solely those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of all or other BendedReality staff – If you are interested in being a guest writer for our site, please CONTACT US and let us know, we would be glad to consider you for a guest writing opportunity (NO EXPERIENCE IS REQUIRED).
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